Seriously. I just spent about an hour talking with my mom about my options. I am really thankful for her, because she thinks like me. But I feel like money shouldn't matter as much as it does. You know? Why should currency define which of your dreams are feasible?
God's bigger than money. I know.
Right now I'm listening to Eisley and others on Pandora and loving it. This is debatably my favorite Pandora station. I'm in my house, or parents' house, whosever it is. I'm toying with a trial of ShowIt Sites (I have been stalking
Jasmine Star's blog pretty religiously, which is where I learned about ShowIt), and I only have eight days left of the trial and have had no time to play with it. If anything, I can get some design ideas that I can emulate in Flash. But Flash is really complicated, especially if I want to update my site kind of frequently.
I am trying really hard to go to the Galapagos with my photojournalism program this summer. It would be such an incredible opportunity, with professional coaches and a team of people working on one stellar multimedia project (
here's the project from Thailand last year). I'm also trying to go to a
photojournalism conference in Texas at the end of February. With funding from the J-school and my parents' flyer miles, I think I can afford to go. It's with Southwestern Seminary and it's a gathering of a ton of Christian photojournalists talking and learning about photojournalism as it relates to NGOs and missions. I am so stoked at the prospect of going to this.
I am realizing that I am totally going to miss the perks of being a student: reduced rates on tons of stuff. Rental camera equipment (lights, lenses, camera bodies). Access to all of this knowledge and accomplished people who can mentor you. Dang. I'm going to miss the academic atmosphere of Carolina. I like walking on north campus, and studying in Graham Memorial, because it makes me feel like I go to an Ivy League school.
Life is funny. I always wonder what it would have been like if I had gone to college up north. I was going to apply to Sarah Lawrence, but then decided just to apply to N.C. State and Carolina. If I could go back, I would have just applied to everywhere. Tons of schools. Just to explore the what-ifs fully.
This whole photo-a-day thing really might not last very long. I can't decide if it's better to be diligent about updating and putting photos up, or if it's best to update more sparingly when I have something worthwhile to say, with a photo I'm particularly proud of. At least I have a pretty broad bank of photos to draw from when I don't feel like taking a new one.
This is where I'd like to be at this moment.
Hiking among the Cinque Terre. Warm weather. The Mediterranean. Sunning myself on a rock by the sea like a lizard. Count me in. Anyone want to join me?
With love and realistically exploring my career options (this is where financing and all that fun stuff comes into play),
Megan
But whatevs. I can do it.
love and physical achiness,
Megan
I have not lived up to my goal. Here's two pictures to make up for yesterday.
This is the campus being all creepy and foggy and empty yesterday morning. I really liked it, actually.
This is the music library this morning. I was making copies of my repertoire and found all these really cool-looking books. Also, I checked out a 1.8 50mm lens this morning that I wanted to try out. Yaaaay ultra-shallow depth of field. I'm really not particularly proud of this photo, but whatevs. I'm getting back into the swing of actually taking pictures.
With love and trying to get myself organized,
Megan
Question: What do you do when this guy opens the door for you?
Answer: smile really big and drop your keys.
Thanks for playing.
New Picture. Every day. I'm not going to promise that I've taken it that day. I am making it a goal to shoot way more frequently and to organize and edit my photos.
This is kind of an accountability thang.
Seeing as I am in the middle of editing a BMX photo story, here's a picture for you.
Okey doke, here's to hoping I'll keep this up.
With love and organization,
Megan
I visited Emily in Greensboro this weekend. I love her, and I love that town a lot. Every time I go I just want to see more of it and be a part of its fun and artsy community. I'm excited that, wherever I end up after graduation, I'm going to get involved in some kind of community, and it will be semi-permanent. At least I hope so.
I feel behind in my work. Probably due to the fact that I have to read 150 pages of contemporary literature by tomorrow because I added the class late. Sweeeeet. And I am just nervous to start my documentary photo project. But ya know what, I can't start anything documentary-related until my professor approves my idea, so I can't do anything about it.
I've been working really hard at peace lately. Which sounds counteractive. But I get so uptight during school. God wants peace for me, and I don't know why the heck I don't embrace that. Living each day, waking up breathing deeply and resting in the knowledge that I am loved-- that He could not love me any more or any less, no matter what-- should be my lifestyle day in and day out. I seriously need to chill out and breathe. And right now, that's just not natural, so I'm working at it. Thus the working really hard to chill out.
Today I went to Emily's church, and the pastor said something that made me think. For a while. Zephaniah 3:17 is one of my favorite verses ever, and he just reinforced that when God sees us, he doesn't roll his eyes or resent us for not doing better. He rejoices over us with singing and delights in us! He sings a giddy song about how much he loves us. How much do I lie to myself and think that God doesn't care where I am or how I'm faring? Geez, he freaking adores us as His creation and his children. And nobody can take that away, no matter what circumstance we are in. So in a turbulent economy and job insecurity and under a lot of pressure, we can have serious amounts of joy and stability in our Father's love.
Love ittt!
With love and going to work to learn about computery things,
Megan
- SNOW, snow, snow, snow, snow, snow, snow!
- Cappuccino and cinnamon roll for breakfast
- Walking around in the snow
- Watching the snow from the UL, not focusing on anything
- Watching the inauguration. I didn't vote for the guy, but I'm optimistic, and I'm really happy that an African American is president. Yay! Now to start seriously praying that he'll be convicted to not sign the Freedom of Choice Act.
- Gilmore Girls. Like, all day.
- Pie, to go with my Gilmore Girls.
- Two-hour nap
- Reading Expat stories. I've found my favorite short story in the book so far. It hits close to home and I think it's really great and unresolved and interesting.
- Homemade beef stew. Yay.
Good day. And a two-hour delay tomorrow.
With love and a giddy smile pasted on my face (I have an irrational love for snow),
Megan
I'm listening to Carole King this morning. It's funny that I'm just now discovering for myself artists that have been crazy famous in the past. Oh well. It fits this morning.
This post consists of lists and scattered thoughts. Because that is how I'm thinking right now.
My classes this last semester are as follows:
-Documentary Photojournalism
-Studio Photojournalism (I'm kind of auditing this class, but I'm so freakin excited about it)
-Graphic Design
-Media Ethics
-How things Work (Physics 100, baby. Pass/Fail.)
-Voice lessons
Thus far on the job search front:
Right now I'm really thankful for:
-A church in which I'm starting to get connected, and I'm growing.
-My wonderful Bible study.
-Chapel Hill. I really love this college town, and I'm going to miss it. So I'm soaking up every moment on campus I can.
-Saturday, Saturday.
-Coffee, coffee, coffee.
-Possibilities.
I've started studying photographers' work. I really should have been doing this all along, but I never realized how much it helps me as a photojournalist. I have so many ideas and inspiration based on these photos I see. I'm starting to keep a little journal of photo ideas and locations. I think it'll be really helpful in studio.
I'm reading a book called Expat: Women's True Tales of Life Abroad. I'm loving it so far. I'm doing some real research on expatriate life, and I think I really am going to do it. At least for a couple of years. The only thing that kills me is that I'd miss seeing this chunk of my brothers' lives playing out. My little brother, Brett, really really doesn't want me to go. It breaks my heart and makes me tear up just thinking about it. When I lived in Italy, I would talk to him on the phone, and he'd speak as he usually does, in nervous little short sentences. After he got off the phone and I talked to my mom again, she said he walked away in tears. That, of course, made me cry. And when I talk to my mom about moving, Brett always ends up coming into the room asking, "Are you really going to Sweden for two years? Are you really going to Africa for a year?" The answer is always, "I don't know yet." But if I do end up going, I'm going to miss that kid so much. And I don't want to miss him growing up, you know? He's ten. Of course there's my other brother, Bryce, who is about to go to college. By the time I came back, he'd be a man, figuring out his own life after graduation. I would miss that kid like crazy, too. I love him to death and I think he is going to create such an amazing life for himself. He's so freaking talented. I don't want to miss seeing him learn and grow and discover who he's going to be.
Ugh, I hate it when my romanticized ideas of life abroad are interrupted by the sucky realities of it. I know it won't be wonderful all the time. I know that. I remember how crappy it was when I realized I wasn't going to fit right into the culture of Italy, when I had to worry about whether I would make friends, when even grocery shopping was a difficult and exhausting endeavor, and when my cravings for something so simple as oatmeal or pop tarts or peanut butter made me cranky. I know it's going to suck sometimes, but it will be really freeing, going out into this world and making my life an adventure. Growing and trusting and seeing unbelievable things. Understanding people and being part of an international ministry.
with love and tears, cause this is going to be really hard,
Megan
Megan: "Mom, I just can't think of anything I'd be happy doing all day every day."
Mom: goes through a long speech about how I can freelance in photography and web design and how I can live at home if I need to.
Bryce: "Plus, there's always pole dancing."
So, today I learned that my parents kept a precious little baby journal during my first year and a half or so. I learned a lot about myself, including the fact that I was calmed down by my father whistling the Andy Griffith theme song, and that I was a rolling machine. Apparently, I often said of my surroundings, "It's pretty, isn't it?" bahaha.
My two favorite excerpts from this journal:
"Wherever you go, there follows a swath of destruction." -Dad
"You really love the outdoors. We went to get the mail this afternoon and went across the street to smell the honeysuckles. You were so bright-eyed." -Mom
Other favorites from this journal include my Dad talking about baptism and just the overwhelming feeling of love from my parents' writing.
With love and a new treasure,
Megan
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