And... breathe.
This photo reminds me of Alice (in Wonderland). Looking up through the daisies-- you know.
Today I ran nine miles.
Today I fell more in love with little old North Raleigh and its farms and fields and horses and curvy roads.
Today I watched too many episodes of the O.C.
Today I listened to a sermon on the majesty of God. I am praying for awareness.
This week I was encouraged by a new friend who has recently been through the primary thing I am struggling with right now. To hear someone convincingly say, "You can do it!" and to check up with me through the week nearly brings me to tears. To overcome this thing that has burdened my heart all summer would be such a great victory.
It's something I have to let go, but I don't want to.
With love and hope,
Megan
Notes to self:
don't wish summer away.
don't wish your singleness away.
don't wish your time in the States away.
I am having such a difficult time with submission lately. I KNOW that my response to God's love for me should be to abandon all the selfish crap I cling to and immerse myself in loving God. But, for some reason, I feel like I can't. I feel really weak and rebellious and I hate it.
I wish it was easier to trust.
Note to self: find the thin line between discipline and beating yourself up over things.
With love and wanting to hike in the mountains and/or live inside this photo please,
Megan
I may or may not be out living it up and doing something terribly exciting.
I also may or may not be sitting in the little haven that is the room above the garage, watching The Sound of Music whilst editing photos, reading about Prague and cutting out pages from old issues of Real Simple, Domino and J. Crew catalogues to paste in my planner.
Great things that happened this week:
- I got the official invitation to October's Candidate Conference (next step to Eastern Europe! Pure joy for something to finally be set in stone!)
- I got medical insurance!
- I went to the first week of Financial Peace University and started budgeting. I haven't yet torn my hair out from the frustration that normally ensues when I think too hard about finances, so I consider this a small victory.
Very sad things that happened this week:
- It's starting to hit me that two years is a very long time to be away from everyone I know and love.
- My great-grandfather, who was one of the most interesting and eloquent men I have ever met, died yesterday. He had a stroke this week that left him unable to speak, which broke my heart more than anything, because my favorite thing to do when our family got together for Christmas, Easter, July 4, etc. was to listen to him. His prayers before meals were beautiful and proper, and his stories were always compelling and full of hilarious dry humor. Grandpa Fred was English, served in Britain's Royal Air Force, and because of industrialization was itching to get out of London. One thing that I loved about him was that he remembered me and the fact that I love Europe. After I returned from Italy, he was always urging me to read The Broker (by John Grisham, I think?) because it took place in Italy, and it made him think of me. I don't typically expect relatives in their 80s to remember my name, much less the fact that I love Italy and I speak Italian, so I would know some of the phrases that most people wouldn't understand in John Grisham's book. He was very thoughtful, and I am going to miss him so much.
Of course, his death also got my head spinning. How fortunate I am to be alive and, (God willing) to have years and years ahead of me to have adventures that I will one day tell my grandchildren about.
With love and making plans to train my children to sing like the Von Trapps,
Megan
Sometimes I wish I could live multiple lives. I wish I could experience all facets of humanity for myself. I want my life to be a hodgepodge of adventure and joy and hurt and beauty and grittiness and poverty and peace, but I know I'll need some stability-- I'll want to nest. Maybe one day I'll be ready for that.
This photo from
The Selby (love of my life/time waster to the max) makes me wish I lived a rugged, rural lifestyle (even though I know this is in NYC...) I just love the texture and the earthiness of this office.
And then so much of me wants to live in Sweden for some amount of time, because everyone is so friendly and happy, and everything is stylish and beautiful. People carry themselves differently there.
I want to live life in the city and out in nature. I want to be a nomad and a good wife. I don't want to grow bored.
Also, Psalm 105 is wonderful, and it chronicles the goodness of God to His people and I love it.
with love and dreams and scripture,
Megan
