Today, I woke up at 5, studied for an exam, threw together an audio slideshow (the audio suuucks) stressed and ran and cramped and hated being a girl and teared up and made plans and cancelled plans. 

Now, all is done, it's the weekend and I am lying in my oh-so-comfy bed. Tonight's plans include making my bedroom floor visible and watching a movie. And lighting a candle that I bought from Nested. It's tiny and not very strong smelling. Bummer. 

This picture makes me want to live in Seattle and drink coffee and carry fresh flowers home. And dress up for halloween and simultaneously look awesome! Probably not in a witch's hat, but to each his own.


I keep finding myself in the classic selfish-Christian situation: I ask for help because I need it terribly --> God provides --> I thank Him --> I forget to thank Him for everything else He does to sustain me --> I need something again.

Today I was in such need of help from Him-- just to keep me standing/not in tears. I asked for help and I knew I hadn't been giving Him the kind of praise He deserves. So I think of things to praise Him for. But is it really all motivated by my neediness and my selfish motives? Do I love God because of what I know He provides for me? Or do I love Him and worship Him solely because of who He is? But I know that it is in His character to love me and see me as redeemed, and to continue to shape me to be like Him. 

Hm.

I took pictures of John McCain this week. Twas cool. I broke some rules, but I was polite, so it was ok. It made me feel like a real photojournalist. I even talked it up with some newspaper photographers, and someone asked me if I was from MTV. That made me feel kind of cool.

Can I just say that I love my church? Because I do. I went to choir, which always ends up ministering to me as much as church on Sundays. Last Sunday (I'm so bummed I wasn't there), they baptized a LOT (like more than 100) people after the services. I am so pumped about this. AND I might be getting a photography internship with some of the teams in Central Asia next summer! How freakin amazing would that be?

Today I was walking to my car, and there was a little boy (about 3 years old) on a church playground on the way to Franklin St. He was dressed as Superman. As I walked by, he ran over to the fence and pointed at his costume, and I said something about how awesome his costume was. I started to walk away, and he dramatically yelled, "WAAIT!" So I came back and he mumbled something incoherent that ended with the word "playground," and so I asked if he was having fun on the playground. He jumped up and was like, "YES!" And ran into his little playground house thing. I said bye to Superman, and I could not stop smiling. I just miss kids. 

How am I going to be a photojournalist (or whatever the heck I decide to be) and have a family? Gah! (Rational Megan says: I'm 21; what is wrong with me?)

Ok I'm done. On to full relaxation mode. 

With love and camera equipment, 
Megan
So, I sing with the symphony and I get to hang out with/take photos of freakin amazing BMX bikers. 

My life is so diverse and awesome! At least this week.

I'm laying on the aero-bed that now occupies my old room in Raleigh. It is so nice to be home. I think I need to start doing my tough work solely in the library or somewhere that isn't my room. I think it would be therapeutic or something to isolate stressful worky-ness from my living space. Feng shui or zen or something to that effect.

Oh man, do I love fall. 

Seriously, what a stream-of-consciousness mess this post is. 

I'm exhausted.

Fin.


with love and yoga pants,
Megan

I'm applying for a travel scholarship to live in Paris for three months next fall and do a series of photo stories.

The idea scares the crap out of me, but I am really fascinated. I think it might be really great if I can just figure out exactly what my story/angle is going to be. And it can't hurt to just apply.

I'm also applying for a multimedia internship/summer job.

The real world is fast approaching. Woah.

With love and a song in my head,
Megan