This consumed my thoughts and dreams last night, and I woke with an incredibly heavy weight on my heart. I got together a list of things to do. I'm going to a family shelter in Durham Monday night and speaking to the families that show up, and hopefully (hopefully, as in, with all my heart I want and need this to happen) one of the parents will come up and talk to me afterward and let me photograph their family this week and do a documentary story on them. Other options include trying to find a family at Eastway (again), trying to jump through all the hoops involving hunger, and go to another shelter and just try to find an individual to do a story on.
I listened to a sermon this morning about belief. The word "believe" has been impossible to miss at The Summit for the past couple of months, because it's the theme for the church's mission expansion project. I don't think there's any other word that needs to be echoed to me over and over. It is what needs to reverberate in my mind until I go insane, because I do not live in belief as I should. It is so freeing to take God at His word, believe that He is who He says He is.
I realized I need to believe now more than ever. Believe that, whether I graduate this semester or not, I will be ok. Believe that my God is bigger than these circumstances and dead ends, and it is His grace that's gotten me so far. His grace is all that I need. I have got to let this sink in, and rest and be FREED by this reality.
I am stressed out again. How freaking cyclical am I? I just need to read that last paragraph over and over until it gets into my stupid brain.
with love and stressssss that will hopefully go away,
Megan
