I am resolving to have more adventures this semester.

These may include finding my way to the roof of Davis library, doing something way out of my comfort zone, and/or just living without holding back so much.

And being a better photojournalist, and better about making an effort to get to know people.

I also resolve to go to bed. It's 2:10 and I have to be at church in like 6 hours. I must get up early enough to make espresso.

I miss the Ponte Vecchio tonight (see above photo).

with love and a bullfighter on my wall,
Megan

Things I love about my new place:
Comfy brown couch
Lavender oil diffuser
Espresso pot with which to make cappuccinos every morning (I much prefer them to cappuccinos anywhere else).
My own room, painted "Eucalyptus Leaf." It's not green. I had a crisis and changed my mind, and I love the color.
My glorious bed. It is finally here.
Framed pictures from Europe on the wall, soon to be accompanied by a world map and vintage Barcelona bullfight poster.
A big closet.
Space.
Space.
Space.
A fresh start.

And other such things. Now it's time to go to Rachel's and then jazz. A more substantial update to come.

With love and the limpics,
Megan

~this is new~

So jazz didn't happen, and therefore I will say this. I have been so astounded by salvation lately, which is really refreshing and it's the grace of God that brings me to this point.

The phrase, "my sins are all washed away," keeps creeping into my mind. Every time I utter or sing that phrase, even run through it in my head, I am instantly immersed in peace. A smile probably comes across my face and I try my best to let truth sink in as far as possible-- to permeate the unbelief and apathy that so often envelop my heart.

We read a chapter on confession from The Celebration of Discipline (Foster) for Bible study this week. I think I tend to underestimate the severity and frequency of my sin in order to feel better about God loving me. It's always been really difficult for me to accept that God loves me so deeply that He would die for me. So looking over my own sin has been a crutch to facilitate my grasp of God's love. To see myself as a sort of decent person makes it easier for me to believe God loves me. Turns out that, when I see my sin for what it is, and when I see myself as what I really am-- wicked, broken, human to the core-- God, too, sees every bit of it and chooses to love me anyway. And kick it up a notch, He sees Christ's righteousness on me!!! Are you getting this?

Buh.

I think my brain just exploded.

So I will leave you with this. We sang this before communion a few weeks ago. It's so good.

Man of Sorrows-- what a name
For the Son of God, who came
Ruined sinners to reclaim.
Hallelujah, what a Savior.

Bearing shame and scoffing rude,
In my place condemned He stood.
Sealed my pardon with His blood,
Hallelujah, what a Savior.

Guilty, vile, and helpless we;
Spotless Lamb of God was He.
Full atonement-- can it be?
Hallelujah! What a Savior!

Lifted up was He to die;
"It is finished," was His cry.
Now in heaven exalted high,
Hallelujah, what a Savior!

When He comes, our glorious king,
All his ransomed home to bring,
Then anew His song we'll sing:
Hallelujah! What a Savior!

I used to wonder why you couldn't feel the world turning, and why when you jumped in the air, the earth didn't scoot over a few inches before you landed on the ground. Growing up was the same way. You don't feel it happening, but it does. I used to have a pair of green and purple slip-on canvas shoes with a picture of Ariel from The Little Mermaid on them. They were too big, and for weeks I would try them on again, just to find that they were still too big. A few weeks later, I tried them on again, and they were too tight to even wear.

This chapter of my life (college and such), for the first time, I really feel myself growing. I can point out milestones, things that make me stronger and events that spurred me on to even bigger things. Changes in thought and opinion, horizons broadened. I really like it. I haven't consciously been aware of my growing up before now. It's always just flown by, unnoticed until I observe myself in retrospect.

Yesterday, I did photography for my first official event-- a 50th wedding anniversary party. It went pretty well, minus the fact that my favorite lens is broken (hopefully not irreparably), and I'm really sore. It felt good, though, to be doing something purposefully, knowing that it was preparing me for bigger things.

Tomorrow, I move in to my new apartment. I had a semi-crisis trying to decide what color to paint my room. I was set on green, but now am deciding between a really pretty blue-green and a light purple. We'll see. I also bought this freakin awesome mirror from World Market. I'm kind of super-excited. Yay for a new place!

I'm starting my last year of college. It makes me feel like I've missed out, for some reason. I don't have any concrete, unforgettable Carolina experiences. It's just been this lifestyle I've gotten used to. I think I'm going to have to consciously soak up Chapel Hill this year.

With love and beginnings/endings,
Megan

-Move to California, preferably San Francisco. Maybe commute from Sausalito. Eat healthily.
-Move to New York. Attend Gallery Church. Reach out to the AIDS population. Stick out like a sore southern thumb. Love the energy of the city. Watch the lighting of the tree at Rockefeller Center. Be a part of everything.
-Join Americorps, live in New York, participate in the above.
-Join the Peace Corps, go somewhere. Do something important to help people.
-Join in with a missions organization, go anywhere, and love people.
-Move to Stockholm. Be a tour guide or some kind of working professional. Be a part of a church plant.
-Live in Italy. Work with a school or study abroad program.
-Stay in RDU, do... something.
-Something else.

I can't believe I need to have some kind of clue about what I'm doing in, like, 3 months.

Any recommendations?

With love and entering the real world in less than a year,
Megan