Megan Lindsay: November 2008

Things to be said! It's super late!

1. I'm totally not going to my 9 a.m. class tomorrow.

2. I didn't get the Paris scholarship. I'm disappointed but a little relieved. It means no obligations. Now I can think about Central Asia, The Institute and other such exciting possibilities.

3. I freaking love the people at Apple.

4. I am so, so selfish. I need to be reminded that my life is not to be about me. (As J.D. said this morning, "where would I be if Jesus lived to pursue His own aspirations and best interest?")

5. Jesus is so good to continue to pursue me as He does. I struggle to say, "All my hope is in You," but I know it to be true, that hope is found in nothing but Him. Now to line this up with my actions...

6. I am ultra-stressed out. There is so much due in the next week and two days. To be specific, a self defense skills test, a giant report for psyc, another giant report for the same psyc class, an 8-10 page paper to be written on a book I still have to read 250 pages of due in a day and a half, voice juries, a book and dvds of photography for a party I shot the first of November, my FINAL PHOTO STORY that I totally have to redo, voice papers, and my final multimedia project, just a portfolio website that MUST be totally baller to make up for my bombed exam from last week.

with love and loving my co-workers,

Megan

I'm a blog copycat.

I just read this on J.D.'s blog. It is real good. Read the whole thing.

What of Peter's admonition to "be ready to give an answer?" He means we are to live in such a way that our lives BEG a question from people that are watching, not that we're just ready to "talk about our faith when people are curious." Our lives were to be so characterized by RADICAL generosity, and they were to display such joy in the midst of suffering, that people were simply befuddled and had to ask us what was wrong with us.

I went to the Orange House today. [The Orange House is a house whose residents are living with AIDS and receiving care. I'm doing my final photo story on them, and I am so freaking excited.] I LOVE these people. They are so willing to speak (perhaps not so much willing to be photographed), but willing to say, "life goes on; I take care of myself now better than I ever did." And vulnerable enough to say, "Don't be afraid of me." And hilarious enough to tell inappropriate jokes and say to me, "Oh it's ok for you to have a drink. We just got new cups." -- after talking about how misinformed people think you can catch AIDS by drinking out of the same glass, etc. I just want to go hang out with them! I'm really excited to do audio interviews with them tomorrow; I think I have a really good idea for an audio plotline if I can get the audio to work it.

Mk. Places to go, people to see.

With love and IT TOTALLY SNOWED THE OTHER DAY FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES, CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!,
Megan

Design, lists, and confessions. This is such a long post.

If I could be anywhere at this moment: I'd be in Munich, sipping Starbucks and walking around in the snow (according to weather.com, it's supposed to snow there next weekend-- I could make it just in time!).

I think it is the most liberating thing to know that I could go to RDU right now with a credit

card and passport, and just up and go! Anywhere!!! Seriously, how freaking freeing would it be to just up and fly to Europe?! I would totally do it if I had a remotely significant amount of savings.

I can't find my green flower hat and that makes me really upset. I bought it in Geneva (at H&M, but still!) and I must find it.

I just really like my room. It's awesome and blue-green and ... awesome again, for emphasis. I just thrive on having my own space and decorating it the way I love it. See, this part of me wants to change my focus to graphic design (too late now, really), but I went to world market today and I feel like if I could just walk around and absorb inspiration from the patterns and color combinations and graphics out there, I could be really creative.

Good thing I got into Intro to Graphic Design next semester! And I'm doing studio photo, which means even more creativity! Wooo!

I need to make a list of things to do tonight:

1. Work on Multimedia Exam

2. Finish Montague photo book

3. I really would like to practice piano. I haven't in sooo long and I really want to learn Christmas music... or Pachelbel's Canon in D.

4. Write Tiff's card to go with her birthday present (two months late). I'm a bad friend.

5. Laundrytime!

6. Hangy-outy-with-bristol-time!

I am also excited about tomorrow because it is a day full of singing! See, this makes me want to change my major to music because I have become addicted to choir and other such musical things. I would love to be a high school choir teacher.

I would love to be a high school teacher, period.

Here are the occupations I am contemplating, that are currently posted to my door:

-Teacher

-Social Worker

-Graphic Designer

-Tour guide (TEMPORARILY, and in Florence, Rome, Bologna, Munich, Ireland, the UK, Sweden or Spain)

-Photojournalist

-Counseling Psychologist

-School Psychologist

-2 years of missions

-Youth ministry worker

-Travel journalist

-Freelancer and blogger (I would clearly put more effort and less stream-of-consciousness into that blog).

Potential Locations:

Ireland

New York City

Greensboro

Stockholm

Africa, anywhere.

Maybe even New England somewhere. Unless The Happening... well... happens, and the trees kill off everyone.

Geez, that was a terrible movie.

Anyway. Enough future talk. Here is what is happening currently:

School.

Um. That's about it.

I'm taking voice lessons, which are going pretty well, I can totally tell that I'm improving a lot, but I get really frustrated because you can't really separate yourself from your voice. I can't walk away from it, it's always with me and in me, and so when I feel like I'm doing badly, I tend to internalize. I'm also getting over the fact that I don't like to be loud, which means I totally wimp out instead of going for the really high stuff that I know I can hit. Hm, confidence issues? That's totally new to me! (Written with more than a hint of sarcasm)

I've taken a not-so-good-hiatus from spending time with God, but, by his grace, I'm back. I'm re-reading through John, and that's giving me a new appreciation for the life of Jesus, and for the gospel. The words, "grace upon grace," keep resonating in my head. God knows I need that to be in my head as much as possible, or else I get really discouraged and distracted.

Something J.D. said in his sermon last week (that I listened to this morning) really struck me: that we distract ourselves from the fact that we are just unhappy. I have really felt it this past couple of weeks, and I finally broke down one evening, driving home. I need Him so desperately, and I have COMPLETELY been distracting myself-- with these dreams of mine, with wanting-but-not-really-wanting-a-boyfriend, with school, with making myself more stressed than I need to be. All to pass the time so I didn't have to think about how miserable my life is when it's not centered at its core on the Lord.

But I'm learning! Yay!

With love and probably wearing my favorite fall-leaf-shirt for the last time this season,

Megan

Currently listening (with fervor) to: The Hush Sound

Currently sipping: hot chocolate

Currently wishing for: snow

Also, if you want to listen to something precious, this little old fashion photographer is so cute.

You. Guys. Big news. I FOUND MY HAT. (I just typed, "I found my hate," and it made me chuckle). No, but really, I found my flower hat and I am full of glee and relief.

Late night on campus!

Today, I sat in the Viscom labs from 2 p.m. to 1:30 a.m. I did not leave the building. And I only left the room twice-- once for water and once to talk to the wonderful Emily, whom I love. But this was an eerie experience, and this is why:

1. The viscom labs are in the basement. Zero sunlight down there. So it's freakin weird to go in while the sun is high, to leave finding the world pitch black. It's like a weird time warp. Was I really just in the same room for eleven hours?

2. You start seeing crap when you stare at a computer screen for that long. I swear there were little gnats flying around, but every time I looked up, they weren't actually there. What the?

3. After leaving the labs and walking to my car, I passed girls dressed all scantily-and-club-like. I realized they were going home. I just left the labs and these people have already partied themselves out and are going to bed. I feel somewhat cheated.

4. Campus is just eerie that late at night. No one is around. At all. Anywhere. I thought, "What if I were to get attacked?" No one would hear me. But at the same time, I bet the killers are all at home asleep. (I will also have you know that I went over potential counter-attacks in my head, thanks to Self Defense class. Finishing move: eyes, nose, throat, groin, or knee! Be aware of your environment! Momentum and leverage! Attack the weak point of the grip!)

That's enough.

5. I was waiting outside of the dining hall for someone to bring my OneCard back when this girl starts walking by me, but then she up and starts running! I know that I looked kind of rough today with the ponytail and lack of makeup, but do I seriously look so bad as to give the impression I'm going to kill you and you need to run for your life?!

Also, we established that energy-efficient lighting = rape-efficient lighting. Energy-efficient bulbs just are less bright. That's all there is to it. You can't see anything.

Thus concludes my late-night-campus-adventures. I am completely certain there will be more to come.

With love and not even wanting to look at a computer (except I am right now, and I'm going to sell them for nine hours tomorrow),

Megan

Things to be said! It's super late!

I'm a blog copycat.

Design, lists, and confessions. This is such a long post.

Late night on campus!

tenendo per mano il sole

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