Could you please, please make it better? Just as quickly would be awesome.
And I'm way too emotionally susceptible/wacked-out.
I need peace like woah. Pleease.
-------
Thank You!!!!
Could you please, please make it better? Just as quickly would be awesome.
And I'm way too emotionally susceptible/wacked-out.
I need peace like woah. Pleease.
-------
Thank You!!!!
I've taken several blows in the last few days-- to my self-image, my confidence, my sense of security...
I just want to escape. I want to go to the beach, feel the sun on my skin and flop down on a towel in the sand. And fall asleep. And dream. And wake up to a fresh breeze.
Oh, God, I know this is the right thing.
And He is all I need. I am beautiful to Him. I am treasured and loved by Him, and He has dreams for me. Big dreams.
I can get through this exam. And I can get through this. All of this.
With love and bright hope for tomorrow,
Megan
But breaking up does, however, suck.
With love and 3.5 years,
Megan
I resumed my place in "Jesus the One and Only" today. I left off about a year ago in the workbook. But now I'm back. And it's fantastic. It's really nice to have some time in the middle of the day to stop and really get into the Bible. How much I've been missing. This stood out to me a whoooole lot: "The distracted hearer chokes on her own worldly appetites. Luke 8:14 says she also doesn't mature, which is far more than unfortunate. It is a tragedy... The hearer of the Word who is distracted by the constant call of the world will never fulfill God's awesome plan for her life."
Also, this fantastic verse:
"But as it is written:
What no eye has seen and no ear has heard,
and what has never come into a man's heart,
is what God has prepared for those who love Him."
1 Cor. 2:9
Ooooh snap.
I brought my owl back to the apartment. This little owl was in my apartment in Firenze, and I just thought he was the most fun and quirky thing ever. So I exchanged (not stole) him, and now he is here, sitting on my desk. What a little traveler.
I think I am going to go and
a) read Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
b) work on my legal hypothetical
c) start researching for my polisci paper
d) actually put together resources for class tomorrow
e) none of the above
f) Oh my GOSH ENCHANTED COMES OUT TOMORROOWWWW!!! *giddy squeal*
g) I need my paycheck.
with love and nail polish,
Megan
God is not in my life enough. I'm so freaking mad at myself for letting that happen COUNTLESS times. I realize it and STILL fail to devote the time to Him that I really need to. I am such a jerk. Ugh.
The main reason for this post, however:
Last night, I had a really strange dream, and it's rare that I remember dreams, so here goes. There were a bunch of little boys in front of me wearing vintage Houston Astros caps (the same one as the guy in the Eve Carson case). There were also a bunch of boys wearing different baseball caps (with just an H on them, without the star). Their hats signified that they were in gangs. I was really intimidated and afraid of them. They looked angry, and I was afraid they were going to hurt me, and I really wanted to escape. But then we were all suddenly in a gymnasium, and underneath their heavy coats and garb they were wearing red basketball uniforms. They grabbed basketballs and started playing and laughing, and they were just regular kids. And I was happy just playing basketball with them. I was relieved, and I didn't have to be afraid of them or afraid for them. Everyone was safe and happy, not threatened.
Before I went to bed last night, I read more about the Eve Carson case. A gang expert had analyzed the hat that a suspect was wearing in a surveillance video, and he said that there was a certain gang that wears vintage Astros caps. Part of the reason for this was that another gang wears different caps, and something about the H on top of a star disgraced the other gang's symbol. So I think that's where the whole baseball cap thing came in.
I've never had a dream I thought was really meaningful before. But I think that has a lot of significance for me. I'm trying so hard to figure out exactly what to invest my life in... this kind of brings in a new perspective. Sometimes I think that I would be doing "more" if I was working for some high-end publication... but maybe my working with kids can change the world a lot more than I thought it could. There's kids who need help so, so badly. And helping them early can make a world of difference to them.
Hmm.... man.
With love and trying to enjoy break,
Megan
I took a feature picture yesterday in Lenoir, and as I dropped off my equipment in the newsroom, one of my editors told me that there was major breaking news. I skipped class and went with her, later discovering the immensity of what had happened. I sat near the TV in the Union as students and faculty gathered around it for the press conference. I photographed reactions, tears, hugs. One man got angry and told me to respect his privacy. When talking to people, I didn't know what to say, only buffering my words with "I'm so sorry." Asking someone to spell his name at a time like this seems ridiculous.
Shaking, I dropped my photos on the newsroom server and went to class late. I sat in the back, still jittery and numb, while listening to the rest of a lecture on libel, which I remember nothing about. Later, I attended the gathering at Polk Place, and when I came home, my emotions came out in one fell swoop.
It was a rough day.
With love and mixed emotions,
Megan
I am ready to get through this semester. I'm ready to have media law behind me. I'm frustrated with the paper because I keep getting features every week, meaning I have to go out and find someone doing something interesting somewhere in Chapel Hill, which is really hard when you run out of ideas. I'm just really discouraged, and I haven't been impressed with my photos so far at all. I don't know if I'm going to do it again next semester.
I'm ready to be in advanced and studio photojournalism and multimedia classes. I'm ready to have my own room, paint it green (Behr Pesto, to be exact. I looked it up), hang pretty curtains and my wall map and have a big comfy bed. I want to put my work up on my walls, too. I want to be doing my job well and really loving everything I'm a part of. I want a really good, full and fulfilling senior year.
I'm in astronomy class right now. I'm really not interested in measuring arc seconds and parallax relative to other stars. Sorry, prof.
I'm sad I finished my pack of peanut butter M&Ms. Bummer. At least I still have Fuze.
With love and an hour nap in the Union this morning,
Megan
I'm sipping coffee at 11 a.m., and my 10 a.m. was cancelled. After sleeping in another hour, I grabbed a muffin and now I'm sitting at my desk (with those daffodils that make everything better) and I'm listening to songs to make up a cheerleading routine for my beautiful little cheerleaders. And the window is open. Life is just good right now.