"Make your day one in which God gets your best so that others share in the rewards of your devotion. Let the thoughts and intents of your heart be shaped and guided by time spent in His presence. David often talked about how discouraged or fearful he would become at times. Then he would interject these words, "But then I entered the sanctuary..." Being in God's presence affects all other relationships for the better." -Ravi Zacharias

I think this should be my primary goal for this semester. My relationships with people are so important to me, and honestly I've done a sucky job of being a blessing lately. More importantly, I've been really bad at blessing God lately with my efforts and my time. With my thoughts and lack of prayer. Prayer will be my focus in the new year, I think. 

Bristol is going to Spain in five days. I am so excited about this. She is fantastic and beautiful, and she is so going to thrive in Espana. Life abroad is so thrilling. I'm hoping to create new memories and expansion of my horizons (abroad or not) after I graduate. I'm really, really excited about the possibility of moving to Stockholm. Even if this Apple job doesn't work out, I think I'll work for a while, save up money and just move there. Maybe not long-term, but that city is consuming my mind lately. It is especially... special to me because there was a moment in worship a few weeks ago when I realized I was not acknowledging the Lord in my planning (bad move, dude). And the instant I surrendered those thoughts and plans to Him, Stockholm jumped into my mind, sort of out of the blue. The last time that happened, it was with Florence study abroad. We'll see, but it's definitely one of the primary things on the table right now.

I would totally want to live in SoFo. Cafes and art and fashion? Count me in, please!

Also, ignore the ridiculous expression on that chick's face.

My current music obsession is Missy Higgins, especially the song "Sugarcane." I have a huge list of musicians to explore, thanks to Emily and Pandora Radio.

On the list of things to do today: keep reading, watch Gilmore Girls a lot, take a walk, clean out my car. 

Go, go, go!

with love and loving this (maybe) last stint at home, which makes me sad,

Megan

I'm so bothered by how shallow a person I am. I don't read enough. I don't soak in enough. I let meaningful things bounce off of me, and that is stupid. Why don't I internalize enough wisdom? Ugh, Lord, I want to be wiser and more capable than I am now. 

I'm about to be a *real* adult. Entering the real world. I applied for a job in Sweden. I have to be so much more disciplined than I am now--much more committed to learning, to the Lord. I can't be this dependent on people to motivate me to be close to God. That just is not gonna fly if I move away to a new place. Even joining a church. That isn't how this is supposed to be. The Holy Spirit is in me. What am I doing?

Change me from who I've been lately.

with love and frustration,

Megan

Exams are finally over, and I'm so happy that it is finally Christmas break!!! I'm getting good hours at work, and even though I have to work Christmas Eve (come visit me!) I'm really glad to have a good balance of working in Christmas madness and hanging out till the wee hours of the morning. I'm staying at home for the most part now, which is awesome, despite the miserable backache I'm getting from sleeping on the air mattress. Meh. 

I'm just so excited about the Christmas season! So magical! So Luke 2! I can't contain myself!

I really wish that I would start developing my own style in photography. I still feel like such a baby photographer, and I know I need to study really good photojournalism more than I do. I am SO dissatisfied with my work right now. But I think it's just a practice thing. The more I work, the more comfortable I get. I took Sarah and Bruce's engagement pictures last weekend, which was super fun. I need to get more comfortable with being creative-- I allllways get overwhelmed and indecisive during portrait sessions. [Insert Charlie Brown-style Aaugh! here]

But it made me really excited. What fun!

I'm still in my pj's. bahaha. I've fully been wearing them for 24 hours (because of the pj/semiformal party last night). I really have to take a shower and wear clothes like a normal person. I'm disgusting; please don't judge me.

For the rest of the evening: clean, watch a super-Christmasy movie, spend good time with the Lord, read, decorate the fun little tree in my room. Make an awesome salad with pears and pomegranate seeds. Mmm...

Uneventful update, maybe. 

Whatev.

With love and The Hush Sound,

Megan

I'm also in my kitchen making tea while typing this. It makes me feel grown up somehow.

Anyway, here is what you do: for all of these questions, type in the answer to flickr and pick a picture from the first three pages. Then copy-paste those hyperlinks here, and you've got yourself a fun little mosaic going on!

1. Name: Megan

2. Favorite food: pasta

3. Current town: Chapel Hill

4. Favorite color: yellow

5. Celebrity crush: John Krasinski (don't make fun. I just have an irrational desire for Jim Halpert to be a real person.)

6. Favorite drink: Peppermint mocha

7. Dream vacation: Glendalough, Ireland

8. Favorite dessert: tiramisu

9. What I want to be when I grow up: a blessing

10. What I love most in the world: Jesus

11. One word that describes me: dreamer

12. My username: farfalla fiorentina (on flickr), but that turned up nothing so I just typed "farfalla"

hooray! Ok, the goal is bed by 11. Go!

With love and trying to recover my voice to sing for juries tomorrow,

Megan

Undergrad library, son.

Minus the "son" part.)

I'm really tired.

It is only 10:30.

Seriously, what?

Ten pages to write.

Operant Conditioning,

I so hate your guts.

Here's who I don't hate:

Cheddar the rat, my subject

for this dang paper.

Cheddar isn't real.

He's a little "cyberrat."

I conditioned him.

He can press a bar

Like thirty times a minute

Just to get water.

Kind of impressive

For a little computer

rat simulation.

My iPod's playing

Maroon 5, so I'm calmer.

K, this is the end.

with love and a sleepy stupor,

Megan

And with my mind whirling about in that darkness, watching blurred headlights drift down 15-501, "Merry Christmas" echoed softly, over and over on the radio, which I had turned way down. My heart just sighed (if that's even possible). It was like flopping down into bed after a really long day-- your muscles ache, and the only thing you can do is exhale. That Jesus came into this depraved world to redeem it, to pierce this darkness with His birth, and His life, by loving people and giving everything for them-- this is beauty overcoming horror.

I needed this kick with the gospel. I feel myself going backwards lately, and I can't seem to manage to move forward in my relationship with God, despite my efforts and pleas for dedication to spend time in the Word. I'm so weak right now. This needs to change. So much!

With love and a Christmas candle,

Megan