I just woke up from a three-hour nap I did not intend to take.
So this evening will be filled with laundry, reading, hot tea, sermon-listening and restless sleep till I wake up at 6 tomorrow. woohoo!
The fact that I'm moving away is starting to freak me out. Maybe it's the fact that I have two months left at home. Or maybe it's just that I'm really happy with life right now. I love the people in it, and I'm getting to know new friends better, and I'm realizing how much I really need my best and oldest friends.
It's hard to find a balance between loving people without reservation, but also allowing myself to be flexible, mobile, somewhat detached. I've always hated the idea of holding back love in the name of self-preservation. But it's going to hurt so much to rip myself away from everything I know.
And that makes me think of this quote that I need to have cross-stitched on a pillow or tattooed on my arm or something:
"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket-- safe, dark, motionless, airless-- it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable." -C.S. Lewis
That would be a really long tattoo. Cross-stitching, it is.
With love and not getting anything productive done today (yet!),
Megan
Greensboro always makes me think about what I want to do with my life.
On the list of things to ponder:
Do I want to settle in the U.S.?
Do I want to live in an ever-bustling, trendy and exciting city or out in the country where I can own land and run around in the woods and build a treehouse for my kids?
Do I want to adopt? (I think the answer will be yes.)
On the list of things to do in the next two months:
Read up on American history
Read up on Czech history
Start learning Czech
Learn how to do my makeup
On the list of things to do in the next few years:
Live in CZ
Live in Sweden?
Find a dateable boy
Make my life count for something big.
with love and lists,
Megan
I went to campus tomorrow and went to the music building practice rooms and just sang and played piano?
I don't want to be one of those graduates that just friggin' can't let go of being a student and therefore stalks around campus being all creepy and old.
But for reals. I miss Chapel Hill/Carrboro.
I google imaged "creepy old student" and THIS came up. Really?!?!
On the list of things to accomplish tomorrow:
FIX MY BUDGET. Holy crap. I haven't kept track of it at all for the past, oh, two weeks.
Go to the dentist. Hope I don't have any crazy problems. It's been about two years... eek!
Read a bunch while visiting Cafe Driade for what I'm expecting to be a pretty fantastic latte.
Wear fun clothes that I can't normally wear to work under a bright florescent 'avert your eyes' orange t-shirt.
With love and weird ominous swollen lymph nodes,
Megan
I hopped out of my car at Starbucks, eagerly anticipating coffee and the new Swell Season album. I wore my boots for the first time this fall, and as I click-clicked down the sidewalk, I admired the cloudy fall weather and contemplated my impending coffee purchase. As I walked toward the door, I saw a man with a long beard sitting at an outdoor table. Interrupting my coffee thoughts (pumpkin spice latte or peppermint mocha? Is it too early for a peppermint mocha? I don't want to get tired of them before December) came an abrupt question from the man at the table.
"You're a Christian, aren't you?"
I was startled. I thought he might have seen the Ichthus on the back of my car, but my car was around the corner.
"What?" I managed to blurt out.
"A born-again believer. A Christian."
"Oh... yes, why do you ask?"
"Something about you, your mannerisms, when you walked by, I could tell."
I was completely taken aback. I didn't know what to say. He went on to say that he went to church nearby, and he spoke about how God equips us all with different gifts, and that they need to be exercised. He told me not to be afraid to speak truth into the lives of other people.
Mainly, I just nodded my head. Normally, these kinds of situations would freak me out. But oddly enough, I was incredibly encouraged. He let me go on my way (and first prayed for me), but I was just so surprised by that encounter. I think he's part of a church whose character is much different than that of
my church, but his words were full of scripture and humility. I was just really glad to have that conversation with a total stranger.
Currently watching: Once. Very halloween-appropriate, huh?
Obsessively listening to: The Swell Season's new album. Beauuuuty.
Currently wanting: to be more confident in sharing what I believe. I fear misrepresenting the Gospel/appearing ignorant. SO much. There is so much I don't know or understand.
Currently reading: Crazy Love by Francis Chan. It's pretty fantastic.
with love and an uneventful halloween (except for that I dressed up as a gangster rapper yesterday with dreds and all, that was pretty fun, except apparently I looked more like Avril Lavigne... fail...),
Megan
"This is what I was made to do."
I've never had that feeling before. Ever. During college, I always second-guessed my choices of majors. (Photojournalism and psychology? Really, you're going to find a job with that dynamic duo?)
I didn't really want to work for a newspaper. I didn't really want to do weddings forever (as much as I love them, I just don't feel a strong passion that will keep me in that field for very long). I wasn't sure about pursuing counseling, because that's a lot of schoolin' and money for a job I'm not sure I want to do forever.
This week, all doubt is removed from my mind regarding what I will be doing for the next two years, and maybe beyond.
Job title: writer/editor/photographer
Location: the Czech Republic
The job itself is going to be freakin' incredible. And beyond that, God has totally put European peoples on my heart recently. I think eventually I would like to be in Stockholm. But for the next two years, Praha, I'm yours.
Fact of the day: the Czech Republic is the most atheistic country in Europe. With its turbulent history, I am a bit overwhelmed.
This week I had the privilege of meeting a lot of really great girls and guys with the same heart for the nations. I've never experienced anything like it, and this diversity-loving lady was PSYCHED to see God orchestrate their passions and destinations.
I am way excited about the days to come. But way sad to think that in three months I have to say hundreds of goodbyes.
with love and purpose,
Megan
Baaah I leave for conference in two days!!!
To do:
Budget for these next two weeks, pay off credit card and take into account the fact that I will be without a week of income!
Read, read, read, read like a maniac!
Laundry!
Pack!
Travel playlist!
Go to work!
Oh boy.
And when I come back, I run ten miles! I have proven to myself that I CAN make it this far, so I'm way stoked.
With love and excitement,
Megan
To be honest, few things really offend me. But this made me furious all day long.
A customer came in to the store today with an iMac that didn't work. He told me he worked for a particular church. I told him that we do repairs by appointment basis, and that I could book him the next available appointment in two hours.
Initiate freakout. This customer went on a self-entitled rant how an appointment system is stupid, how Apple doesn't care about its customers, and then proceeded to call his co-worker and loudly give a diatribe (making sure I could hear him) about how I was being "snooty."
Of course, he eventually calmed down and took the earliest available appointment, and made a weak attempt to cover himself ("You were just doing your job... but Apple is just practicing bad business, blah blah blah")
So he went on his merry way, and I was totally angry. It's one thing for a customer to be rude-- this happens on a very regular basis. But for you to tell me that you work on LEADERSHIP at a CHURCH, and then proceed to loudly insult me on the phone to your friend... that is NOT okay.
What an awful representation of the gospel. I hate that people experience this all the time, because it is not fair, and it is not Christ. I know we're imperfect people and we are inevitably going to be somewhat hypocritical because we represent a holy God... but come on. You've gotta work harder than giving childish tirades when your wants are not immediately accommodated.
Just a rant. I'm done now.
With love and wanting to make a t-shirt that says "be nice,"
Megan
