Especially when they are obviously brilliant.
I just want to make uninterrupted eye contact and ask, "Do you even know how valuable you are?"
It rips me up. I don't quite know why.
With love and rain,
Megan
Right now I'm sitting on my floor. I am le tired. And I'm praying that God will meet my financial needs for the fall.
I'm excited, because I am running a 10-mile race in late October with some wonderful ladies from my Bible Study. I think it will be really good to have a tangible fitness goal like this, plus I'll be running in lovely Durham during the lovely fall. Although I'm sure I'll be huffing and puffing and whatnot. So I'm starting training tomorrow morning!
Thing is, this race cost $42 to run, I need to buy a good pair of running shoes (which will put me back about $60). Plus I'm probably taking a 13-week financial class at church, which will be $100, and I'm just not sure about this whole grownup moneymaking/spending thing.
I wish things didn't cost so dang much.
But right now I will lay in bed and read The Time Traveler's Wife and get up at 7 a.m. and run like the wind.
Run, Forrest, Run.
With love and goals,
Megan
When I am bored, I will do something productive. I will read or write or memorize scripture or paint or go running or do something worth doing.
I will memorize more scripture.
I will be committed to God and work work work to stop being so stubborn and selfish.
I will embrace the seriousness of my future job abroad as well as the adventurous side. I am here to serve and pour out myself, not check off amazing life experiences.
Also learn to manage my money! Hooray!
With love and a day off tomorrow (phew!),
Megan
Because my little corner of the internet is for me, really. And I like getting things out into words.
I finished The Unbearable Lightness of Being. Sometimes I thought it was brilliant, and sometimes I thought Czech authors are weird.
Now I'm reading The Time Traveler's Wife so I can go and watch it having read the book, even though the book will be better than the movie.
I am a firm believer in using images to tell a story (Hi, My name is Megan, and I'm a photojournalism major), but I think that descriptive words often help you imagine a place or a feeling better than an image can. The image just lays it out in front of you, but words immerse you and make you construct an image in your head. You're actually there-- you build the setting around yourself. I have this eerie image of the moors of England because I read The Hound of the Baskervilles, and in my mind I stood and watched events unfold upon the dark, dewy, foggy, lonely moors of England. But I don't think that you could ever recreate that image in my mind by showing me a photograph or a movie clip, no matter how foggy and eerie and mysterious it looked.
I like books.
With love and string lights,
Megan
Either that or I go on a diatribe, preaching at myself.
Neither of which are really beneficial to post online.
Hm.
This summer has been really sweet. Lots of beach trips, visiting new places (Charleston, I love you!) and lots of days lounging by the pool with lovely friends.
Now as everyone preps to go back to school (which includes a lot of my post-grad friends, because they're all teachers!) I am coming to realize things will never be quite the same again. Everyone's making these huge life transitions-- getting married, moving across the country, starting full-time jobs-- and I will be out of the country, probably by March.
This fall is going to be especially hard because I don't have a fresh semester of classes ahead of me. I'm a nerd, and I really like going to school. I like the Target run for school supplies, the purchasing of hundreds of dollars worth of textbooks, the syllabi, the rush of motivation at the beginning of the semester that only lasts about two weeks. It's like some weird academic high for me, and it's really sad to me that I'm not doing it anymore. At least not for a few years.
But hopefully I will be working more, and watching as my dear friends find jobs and start doing what they love. Throw in some trips to the mountains during the fall, some pretty scarves and crisp fall air, and I think I'll be able to look past the fact that I'm done with school.
With love and autumn approaching,
Megan
This photo is cut off but I'm too lazy to fix it.
The ocean is the most soothing/invigorating thing in the world to me. I could just lay in the sun, covered in salt water with sand in my hair, indefinitely.
Sometimes I wish I could take a picture just with my eyes-- without having to crop anything out. Last week I was lying on the beach on my stomach, with my head cradled in my arm. I opened my eyes to see my hair reflecting the sun,and beyond my hair was the shoreline, dotted with umbrellas. I wanted to photograph it, but I could never get the same shot unless I threw my hair in front of the lens and fashioned my arm around the camera to get the silhouette of my arm framing the image.
I think sometimes when I'm taking photographs, it takes me out of the experience. It's as if I'm not really there, that I'm watching the world through a documenting device, not experiencing that thing for myself.
Just thoughts. I want to go to the beach.
With love and still craving Krispy Kreme,
Megan
Photojournal, you are a big step for me.
These photos aren't very exciting. I need to do better at taking my camera with me places. And taking photos of people. I haven't done that since I graduated! I suck at life.
With love and a day off (finally),
Megan
You see what I did there?
This photo is a combination of dying flowers in my room and my ghettofabulous lamp which right now consists of a stand and a bare lightbulb.
Weird shadows.
shadows!, originally uploaded by Farfalla Fiorentina.
I bought Pumas today. They make my ginormo feet look tiny.
I want Krispy Kreme like right now.
With love and going to bed at 10:00 on a Saturday like an old, old grandma,
Megan
Photojournal starts today.
This is from Charleston. It's boring but I like the calmness.
Yesterday it was brought to my attention just how sinful my heart is. I was talking to some friends a few nights ago, and I confessed something I had done. But the ugly thing is that I was proud of it.
I got home and opened my Bible, disgusted at myself. I painfully identified with, "out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks." And I came across this Psalm:
Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven,
Whose sins are covered.
Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord does not count against him and in whose spirit is no deceit.
When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long.
For day and night your hand was heavy upon me;
My strength was sapped as in the heat of summer.
Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity.
I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the Lord--"
And you forgave the guilt of my sin.
Therefore let everyone who is godly pray to you while you may be found;
Surely when the mighty waters rise, they will not reach him.
You are my hiding place;
You will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go.
I will counsel you and watch over you.
Do not be like the horse or the mule, which have no understanding but must be controlled by bit and bridle or they will not come to you.
Many are the woes of the wicked, but the Lord's unfailing love surrounds the man who trusts in him.
Rejoice in the Lord and be glad, you righteous;
Sing, all you who are upright in heart!
I love all the enveloping phrases... "surround me with songs of deliverance" describes exactly where I want to be, ya know?
And what a joy that we find this enveloping love of God when we unveil our weakness to Him.
I think the church could stand to be way more forgiving. I have found myself so afraid of making mistakes, and when I do make them I make a frenzied attempt at covering them up. So then we live in false fellowship, and that's not beneficial to anybody. Vulnerability and sharing in the sanctification experience, please!!
That's all. This is probably really vague and nonsensical, but whatevs.
With love and songs of deliverance,
Megan
I started to do this in Intermediate Photo, but then dropped the class and dropped the goal.
Here's to following through and maybe organizing my life a bit.
With love and a new dress,
Megan