I did the following:
Got up, pinned my hair back and put on a new outfit.
Got bagel and coffee at Panera on the way to Durham.
Learned how to do portraits with Annie's portable studio equipment
Learned that I'm getting business cards, and am now officially an "Associate Photographer" of Annie Harrison (how fancy!)
Quit my job as a waitress, because 1. I am an awful waitress, and 2. I make no money there
Drank a peach milkshake (although I was disappointed because Cookout has yet to start making watermelon milkshakes)
Went to Rachel's house and watched TV and chillaxed and it felt like summer
Rode in Rachel's sister's NEW CONVERTIBLE BUG. Oh my gosh, the FREEDOM AND WONDERFULNESS that is riding in a convertible!!!! Hollly. When I come back from Europe and my car is likely dead (he has 170,000 miles on him and he's acting funny) I will seriously consider this.
On the way home I was really pensive. I examined my life as of late, and tried to decide what has been bugging me concerning boys and singleness and the idea of relationships and life. I ended up driving past my house and going out to Wake Forest. I got out of the car and took pictures in a grove of tall pine trees, and it was refreshing when I finally got in the middle of this grove. It was just me. I couldn't see the road, and it was just me and the trees and the sun and it was nice. I think I might make it a habit to get out into nature alone.
I am currently cleaning my room. Then I will make fresh salsa (really just cut up tomatoes, avocado and peppers with lime juice) and watch the OC.
GREAT DAY!
With love and goodness,
Megan
Francie stood on tiptoe and stretched her arms wide. "Oh, I want to hold it all!" she cried. "I want to hold the way the night is-- cold without wind. And the way the stars are so near and shiny. I want to hold all of it tight until it hollers out, 'Let me go! Let me go!'""Don't stand so near the edge," said Neeley, uneasily. "You might fall off the roof.""I need someone," thought Francie desperately. "I need someone. I need to hold somebody close. And I need more than this holding. I need someone to understand how I feel at a time like now. And the understanding must be a part of the holding." -A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, p. 404
"The last time of anything has the poignancy of death itself. 'This that I see now,' she thought, 'to see no more this way. Oh, the last time how clearly you see everything; as though a magnifying light had been turned on it. And you grieve because you hadn't held it tighter when you had it every day.'" -A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, p. 476
"We sell our love like it was fresh lemonade, we yell as cars go by. Run up to strangers as we tug at their coats and plead with them to try." -Speechwriters, LLC
I have an irrational love for the beach. I tell people that the beach makes me feel akin to Alec Baldwin in that episode of Friends where he's overly excited about EVERYTHING. You know the one.
It's just a combination of all these wonderful tiny things happening simultaneously. And I want to list them because maybe it will feel like I'm back at the beach.
-The ocean. It's so huge and miraculous and calming to me.
-The feeling of calm/smallness when you're in the ocean looking out, and you see nothing but vast, vast ocean and sky. Especially if the clouds are good.
-Tan lines
-Sun warming your skin
-Constant cooling breeze
-Getting out of the cold water and laying in the sun to dry off
-Salty, sandy, messy hair
-Those partly cloudy days where the sun bakes you, but then a cloud comes and gives you a little bit of shade and cool.
-Tiny children strutting around in the sand!!!
-Seashells
-Getting into a lovely book
-The range of motion you have when you're swimming.
-Jumping over really big waves, or swimming through them
-When you lay on your stomach and close your eyes, and you get the ambient sound of the ocean, families playing and lifeguards whistling at people to get away from the pier
I really love that life is dotted with these moments-- things that are really beautiful. I am starting to get past my materialistic self a little bit and see that I don't have to buy a shirt or a pair of earrings at Target to have something pretty. I can take it in everywhere, and if I have my camera, I can preserve that moment of beauty forever.
Just thoughts.
With love and finishing A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (FINALLY!),
Megan
My Bible Study was in Mark 9 this week, and our discussion landed on verses 36-37: "Taking a child, He set him before them, and taking him in His arms, He said to them, 'Whoever receives (welcomes) one child like this in My name receives Me; and whoever receives Me does not receive Me, but Him who sent Me.'"
First of all, "welcome" in the Greek here means to care for, finding out their story and meeting their needs-- not just greeting them and moving on with life. And we're supposed to welcome them in Christ's name-- love them in the way He loves. One girl in my small group put it like this: Christ valued each of us enough to lay down His life for us. If we love in that kind of way, we should treat others as if we owe them our lives.
That means sacrificial giving. That means seeking out peoples' needs and meeting them-- the hungry, the poor, the sick, even the overtly self-righteous and ungrateful. Treating everyone with the kind of honor and respect that Christ Himself deserves.
Who does this?? Not me.
Can you imagine what the church would look like if we all did this? Christianity wouldn't have such a bad rap, and people would want to be a part of this kind of community. More importantly, we would ACTUALLY be reflecting the love of Christ, which is the way it SHOULD be!
ALSO, while I'm on my interwebs soapbox, someone brought up the point that corporate worship (i.e. Sunday morning) is not meant to be social time. Churches tend to be so clique-y! So get to know people, welcome those who are new, encourage and minister to your congregation. Have social hour some other time during the week, and include people!
What this means for Megan:
-getting over my fear of people; introducing myself to strangers at church-- I went to The Summit for months and had no one to sit with. I knew no one. It sucks, and I know there must be lots of visitors who feel that way right now. I need to be that person that I needed, if that makes sense.
-Honor people, and seek to meet their needs, not mine. Serve, dangit!
-Go above and beyond in taking people in/caring for them. Make sure people know they are loved and accepted. Pour out myself.
Sigh. I feel like God intends for the Church to be so much different than it actually is. So much more of a community. I adore my church, and I think it does a fantastic job of outreach. But I feel like, as God's people as a whole, we're so far from being a serious community of true servants.
Take care of widows and orphans.
Love love love love love.
With love and too many thoughts at too late at night,
Megan
Hi, my name's Megan, and I'm a Carolina graduate who can't even wait tables.
Today was a recovery day. I worked at my new job all weekend (I'm a server at The Twisted Fork), and last night proved that I am the worst waitress ever. I totally screwed up a man's whole meal, and I felt like a total moron. It was really, really bad.
But God has ways of turning that kind of stuff around. I got home and talked to fun people until late at night (including a phone call from Em, my fellow insomniac, at 2:30 a.m.), watched a little Dorm Life and slept till noon. When I woke up, I sleepily shuffled my bare feet down the stairs and into the kitchen. I opened the refrigerator door and there was a whole container of fresh blackberries. I went to the counter and found one perfectly ripe banana and a peach. Perfect! I threw some cherries in, too. I feel so much better when I eat fresh, unadulterated fruit and vegetables (I made homemade salsa for dinner). I seriously need to start buying just produce and minimal non-natural foods. I feel noticeably better when I eat like this-- straight from nature, no processed junk.
So I sat down, watched a travel show on Brussels, read Real Simple, and went to the library with Emily. It was a good day. Tomorrow will be a photo workday. Parking my butt in a coffee shop for quite a while.
I really love summer.
With love and needing to unpack from college,
Megan
I love this photograph. A lot. I really want to get a lot of books read this summer. I'm in the middle of A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, which I like a lot-- I think? There are SO many books I feel like I must read in order to be a well-rounded person.
Two things have been on my mind: ready?
1. I am tired of technology. I know technology is my friend and all, but I just wish I could escape it. Whatever happened to snail mail and phone calls? I really wish it wouldn't damage my life to just give up internet access for a good while. But alas, my life depends on e-mail and keeping in touch with people via 10,000 modes of electronic communication. As Drew Barrymore puts it in He's Just Not That Into You, it's exhausting.
2. This may be totally wimpy for me to say (and please give me your input, happy blog reader), but I don't know that I could make wedding photography my career while I'm single. It makes me feel incredibly weak to say that. And don't get me wrong-- my heart fills with joy for these couples whose weddings I photograph. Their love is so precious and beautiful. But the effect of seeing SO MANY couples who are truly, blissfully happy together makes me feel WAY more alone than I actually am. Maybe that's the two-weddings-in-one-weekend talking. Does that make me the weakest person on the planet? Because that's how I feel. I so don't want to be like that.
In that same vein, here's a passage from A Tree Grows in Brooklyn I thought was good. Note to self: don't settle for a man you really love, who doesn't really love you.
"Johnny gave her a courtesy dance... Feeling his arms around her and instinctively adjusting herself to his rhythm, Katie knew that he was the man she wanted. She'd ask nothing more than to look at him and to listen to him for the rest of her life. Then and there, she decided that those privileges were worth slaving for all her life. Maybe that decision was her great mistake. She could have waited until some man came along who felt that way about her. Then her children would not have gone hungry; she would not have had to scrub floors for their living and her memory of him would have remained a tender shining thing. But she wanted Johnny Nolan and no one else and she set out to get him."
Now it is 1 a.m. See what technology is doing? Ruining my life and depriving me of sleep. Never mind that I have free will or anything.
With love and wanting to get the idea of marriage out of my head for now,
Megan
Summer always makes me appreciate the fact that I live in the South. It makes me wish I lived in the Deep South, by the bayou beneath trees draped with spanish moss, but North Carolina is wonderful and has fewer mosquitoes. I get really nostalgic at the thought of sweet tea, sitting on the porch, fishing, and just taking it slow during the summer. The South has its own character, and I love that. I must confess that during my week without an iPod, I might have listened to some country music, which has reinforced that sentiment.
I decided to read through Daniel in the next couple of weeks. I'm pretty excited about it, because I haven't studied it in a while. I'm thinking about buying the Beth Moore study on it. Maybeeee.
This is what I want to do this summer:
Learn to paint.
Study the Bible lots.
Have FUN with some of my favorite people. Already happening.
Lots of beach trips.
Get some vitamin D
Eat and drink healthy things.
The end.
With love and a new Bible,
Megan