I just typed up (and deleted) a few paragraphs about ideal situations for the future-- where I'd be based, what I'd like to do. I feel like I'm kind of beating a dead horse with these things, but it's what I keep dreaming of. I'm realizing though, that while dreaming and planning are fantastic, it's really not up to me where I'll be in a year. I am going to grow so much in this year, and I am thinking about this past year and where it has taken me.
A year ago, I was in summer school (some things never quit being necessary) and preparing for Italy. I was living at home. I was experiencing my first summer away from New Life Camp, and that broke my heart. I wasn't working, but I was so stressed out because I wanted to work, and I felt super-guilty about having a grand total of like $500 to help finance a semester abroad. I was thrilled, scared, emotional, feeling unfit for the adventure before me.
I don't think I was ever fit to go, but since I've been back, I've felt so much more capable of being on my own. Once I get an income sufficient to live off of, I'll be able to budget. I would be totally ok to travel almost anywhere by myself (at least anywhere with the same alphabet; Greece was a bit difficult). After riding an overnight bus to a tiny town in Southern Italy all by myself, I think I'll be ok. [This reminds me, I never wrote a blog entry about that, because it was a surprise for my Dad and I didn't want him to find out. I'll have to get on that.] But I'm hoping I become more prepared during my senior year-- more prepared with photography, managing finances (and time), continuing to build strong relationships with people and learning more about where they come from.
It's going to be a good year.
In other news: I'm starting to save for my next European adventure. It's raining, finally, and I love the sound of it pounding on leaves and on the roof outside my bedroom. This means I can't climb out on my roof tonight, but that's ok. And I'm home, lying on the couch, typing on my mac, and watching princess diaries on abc family.
With love and rain and wishing I was in Firenze,
Megan
It's going to be a good year.